


Refuge

by thedevilchicken



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Amnesia, Crash Landing, Developing Relationship, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 20:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14316126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilchicken/pseuds/thedevilchicken
Summary: Poe's ship has crashed after the final battle. So has Kylo Ren's.Now, there's a ship coming in. Poe can't tell if it's Resistance or First Order.





	Refuge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malfoy_Lupin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malfoy_Lupin/gifts).



There's a ship coming in and right now, Poe can't tell if it's Resistance or First Order. Considering who the two of them are and what those things would mean, it's a pretty important distinction. 

They crashed five weeks ago now, according to the chrono in Ben's ship - _Kylo_ 's ship - that didn't get busted up on impact the way that Poe's did. Of course, there were other things about Kylo's ship - _Ben_ 's ship - that hadn't gotten off as light as the chrono had. Like the guy himself. 

By the time Poe pulled himself out of what was left of his X-Wing, Ren's TIE was on fire. They'd crashed so close together, not even half a good-sized hangar apart, that Poe was pretty surprised they hadn't just obliterated each other, but there they were, on the ground, and Ren's TIE was definitely on fire. Poe knew he should've just left him there inside and maybe that would've been the end of it, and Beebee told him the exact same thing though he really hadn't asked. But Poe also knew he couldn't just stand by and let the guy burn to death. It wouldn't've felt right, not after everything, not even then. 

So, he took off at a run despite the crash-induced ache in his bones with Beebee rattling over the rocky ground beside him. Beebee fought back the fire as best he could with his onboard extinguisher and Poe grabbed Ren by his shirt and pulled, till he could get his hands in under his arms instead and pull that way. The air was hot with the TIE's spreading flames and a stray spark lit up Ren's beat-up, bloody leg that Poe patted out with one gloved hand as he hauled him up. He was too damn big for him to really carry so he dragged him away, watching the TIE burn, the flames licking higher, and he yelled for Beebee to get back. Even if it didn't actually blow, there was no saving the ship. Afterwards, he wasn't totally sure he should've saved its pilot. 

The X-Wing's distress beacon had been damaged in the landing, and Poe sure as hell wasn't going to go rooting around in the burning remains of the TIE. So, he cleaned up Ren's leg, stitched it roughly and wrapped it up in gauze and tape and bandages like his admittedly rusty first aid training told him to, and gave him a shot of antibiotics from the med kit just in case. Then, he tied Ren's wrists and his ankles and he set about trying to fix the damn beacon. There was no hope for the X-Wing itself and he knew it - he'd sheared off a wing against the ground in the crash and the whole crash-boom-bang had screwed up most of the systems, but he figured maybe between him and Beebee they could set something up. He thought they'd at least be able to jury-rig some kind of a system to let someone, anyone, know where they were. 

But hours passed. It got dark and the only light he had was a crappy emergency lantern and the smouldering remains of Kylo Ren's destroyed TIE that was glowing nearby. He gave up for the night, shivering, and pulled out the shiny foil survival blanket from his emergency gear and his parachute that had spectacularly failed to deploy. He covered Ren with the blanket and wrapped himself up in the folded-up parachute. He figured maybe if they made it through the night, 'cause who knew how cold it might get or what might try to eat them, he'd start work on the beacon again in the morning. 

The TIE, it turned out when he examined its charred remains, had a functioning chrono and a pack of emergency supplies tucked away in a compartment untouched by the fire, but that was basically all they had left. He pooled the emergency kits from both ships and ate half a ration of shitty vacuum-sealed food bar that did nothing at all to pep up his good humor. Then Ren groaned, and he moved, and he opened his eyes. Poe looked at him, one hand on the X-Wing's beacon unit that was sitting on the ground between his knees and the other at the hilt of his blaster pistol holstered at his thigh. He still had that, at least, even if he didn't have a ship. 

"Poe?" Ren said. "What happened? Where are we?" He moved. He frowned. He cursed under his breath. "Is my leg broken? Why am I tied up?"

Poe shrugged. "We crashed," he said. "Your leg's just cut. I tied you up 'cause weirdly, I want to concentrate on fixing this damn beacon and not how maybe you're gonna put a lightsaber through my chest." 

Ren's frown deepened. "Why?" he asked. 

"Why what?"

"Why would I do that?"

Poe put down the tool he'd had in his off hand on the top of the beacon. He aimed the blaster with the other at the centre of Ren's chest. 

"Twelve hours ago, you were trying real hard to shoot me out of the sky," he said. "Or are you telling me you don't remember that?"

Ren looked at him levelly, or at least as close to it as he could with his extremities tied and his leg gashed. "I'm saying I don't remember that." 

Poe frowned. "You're telling me your name's not Kylo Ren?"

"I don't know who that is," Ren said. He had the gall to look genuinely puzzled. "I'm Ben Solo. You know who I am."

Poe scowled. He shook his head. "Don't," he said.

"Poe..."

" _Don't_."

"Poe, I don't understand what's happening here. Put the blaster down."

Poe's chest felt tight. His throat felt tight. He put the blaster down and he grabbed a sedative from the med kit and he marched right over there, fell down on his knees in the dirt as Ren looked up at him, wide-eyed, almost like what he was saying was true and not just so much incredible bullshit. He jabbed the needle in Ren's neck without a second's hesitation; three seconds later, he was out cold and Poe felt like he was going to be sick. He slumped down on the ground right there next to him and scrubbed his face with his hands. When Beebee beeped, he just muttered, "Not now."

He'd've been better off leaving him in the TIE, Poe thought. He didn't need this. He _really_ didn't need this. He'd honestly hoped he'd never see him again after the last time, or at least that was what he'd told himself. 

Ren was out for four hours or so, give or take, not that Poe was keeping count. After that, he woke, and once he'd pulled himself up to lean back against a nearby boulder, Poe tossed him one of the food bars that he eyed less than enthusiastically then took a bite of. Apparently the sawdust consistency didn't thrill him, either, judging by the look on his face. That was pretty satisfying to Poe, at least. 

Ren watched him work. He sat there, wrapped up in the blanket Poe had given him against the strong chill in the air, his eyes barely leaving him. It bothered Poe. It made him tense because it was exactly the way Ben had used to watch him, sometimes, when he didn't think he was looking, back when Ben had been Ben and not Kylo Ren. He guessed that was the point, to back up this nonsense idea that he really didn't understand, except it wasn't like Ben had ever really known Poe knew he was watching. Except he must have, because there it was. 

"I could help," Ren said, when Poe stopped to drink and then handed him the canteen to drink after him with a wary frown. He'd already saved him once; he was pretty sure he wasn't going to let him die of thirst if there was a second option. 

"Yeah, I don't think so," Poe replied, and then he went back to work. 

"Why would I want you dead?" Ren asked, a few hours later, when the sun started to set. 

Poe looked at him, his brows raised. "You're the supreme leader of the First Order," he said. "Why don't you do the math."

If he hadn't known better, he would've said Ren looked confused by that idea. Good thing he _did_ know better. 

"We're going to die here if you don't let me help you," Ren said, as their teeth chattered in the light of planet's one pale, distant moon. Poe's fingers were so cold they'd moved past painful into numb inside his gloves, under the makeshift parachute blanket. "Why won't you let me help?"

"You killed your dad," Poe said, flatly. "You put a lightsaber through his chest and you killed him. He's dead. You did it. If that's how you treat the people you're meant to love, what do you think I think you'll do to me?"

Ren paused. Poe could see the contours of his face in the thin moonlight as he closed his eyes and frowned. 

"I don't believe you," Ren said. "I didn't do that." 

"Sure you did." Poe sighed. "Look, I'm not stupid. I'm not falling for this." 

Ren just turned away. 

In the morning, the snow started. The place they were seemed rocky and lacking in any kind of shelter as far as they could see, just a few low, scrubby bushes and boulders and dirt, cold and hard and not the worst place they could've wound up except it was cold, and now it was snowing. Poe cursed and Beebee beeped in complete agreement and Ren watched as they cut pieces off of the wreck of the TIE and Beebee welded them together once they'd dragged them over to the X-Wing, at least enough so they'd hang together under the weight of the snow. Poe tore the seat out of the X-Wing and cut it up so they weren't just sitting on sheets of metal on the ground. It wasn't great and it wasn't luxurious and melted snow kept dripping in through the cracks between the loosely welded panels, but it was something. His body heat and Ren's in the small space, not even tall enough for Poe to stand in unless he bent over nearly double, even managed to keep the shivers to a minimum. 

In the light of the emergency lantern, as he worked on the beacon, Poe could see that Ren was watching him. He hated it. It wound him up tight, making him think about all the things that had and hadn't happened all that time ago, before. 

"You're looking at me," Poe said. 

"Am I?" Ren replied.

"Yeah, you are." He looked over at him. "Thinking up ways to kill me before I can get to my blaster? D'you think you can get off this rock on your own?"

"I don't want to kill you," Ren said, and he closed his eyes. He turned away with a grimace as he shifted his injured leg. "If it means maybe you'll believe that, I'll stop looking."

It went on like that for days. Poe made a fire by the entrance of the weird little hut with the main panel ajar once the snow stopped and he melted some down into water they could drink, and then he redressed and rebandaged Ren's leg. Ren tried not to look at him the whole time he did it, his hands still tied together in his lap. 

It went on like that for a week. He had to loose Ren's ankles and heft him out so he could pee and in the end, he took out a utility knife from the emergency gear and he cut both ties away. Beebee beeped, alarmed, and Poe just told him, "It's okay, buddy. I'm pretty sure he needs us if he wants to live." Ren glanced at him as he said it. He looked tired. he looked gaunt. He looked disappointed. He looked a lot like Poe still felt inside. 

"Do you remember the day we met?" Ren asked, a couple of days later. 

"I try not to," Poe replied, resting his head against the metal panel where he was currently leaning. He closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at him.

"You shot me."

"Yeah, well, you were meant to be some great Jedi. You were meant to block it with your fancy laser sword." 

"I still have the scar." Poe opened his eyes as Ren lifted one arm and rubbed at his ribcage underneath it, where they both knew the scar was. 

"Good," Poe said, harshly. "I hope you remember who put it there." 

Ren smiled, faintly, wryly. "You're hard to forget," he said. 

They worked on the beacon together the next day. Poe figured if Ren was going to try to kill him then they might as well get to that sooner than later and he could stop lying there when it got dark at night, thinking about the past. He did remember the day they'd met, the exercise, fifteen resistance soldiers against three Jedi, while Skywalker and General Organa both watched. They'd had a training ground set up in a disused hangar and Poe, like an ass, had volunteered - he figured getting a look at a Jedi close up couldn't be a bad idea and c'mon, three against fifteen made pretty great odds. 

The thing was, the Jedi were good. They were _really_ good. Poe hadn't had to fight so hard in years and then, feinting left, ducking right, he'd taken a shot with his blaster and grazed one of the Jedi with the bolt. It didn't stop the guy, even with his robe bloody and torn, and when the three Jedi won, Poe couldn't really call the victory undeserved. 

They'd shaken hands after, on their way to the infirmary, the Jedi for his blaster wound and Poe for an elbow to the cheek that looked like it maybe needed stitches. 

"Poe Dameron," Poe said, and he offered his hand that was still slightly bloody even after he'd wiped it on his shirt. 

"Ben Solo," Ben replied, and he shook Poe's hand with a faintly bloody one of his own. Poe remembers looking down at their hands, thinking how much bigger Ben's was than his, how much bigger _he_ was than _him_ , and maybe that wasn't totally unusual but it made Poe feel something, whatever that something might've been. And he knew the name, of course - Ben Solo was Leia Organa's son. From the look on his face, Ben knew who Poe Dameron was, too. 

Poe spotted him in the mess hall at dinner, sitting off to the side by himself, so he gave his team a quick mock salute and went over there to join him. Ben didn't say much but Poe figured he could talk for both of them and honestly, the way Ben looked at him, the way he paid attention, it was obvious he didn't mind him being there. Poe liked that. 

He found him there again at breakfast, and again at dinner. The Jedi were there for ten days, all in all, and they met up twice a day, each day. They flew X-Wings when they were both off duty, up over the planet and plunging right down to the deck, egging each other on through canyons and between towering trees, Poe whooping over the comms with Ben snickering at him in reply. It felt good. It felt friendly. Maybe just a fraction more than that, though he wasn't sure at the time if it was just his wishful thinking. 

Ben left with the other Jedi once their ten days were up, but he came back a couple of months later and they sat together, eating dinner in the mess hall. Sometimes Ben looked at him when he thought he wasn't paying attention, like he was studying him, like he was learning the lines of his face and the creases in his lips and the shape of his hands as they rested on the tabletop. He could almost _feel_ the way Ben looked at him and when he was gone again, some of the others teased him about it, good-naturedly, stuff about his Jedi boyfriend, what it was like dating the general's son, but it made him blush and tell them all to knock it off because it made him think. It made him think maybe he wanted that to be true. 

Nothing ever really came of it. Nothing ever really happened. They saw each other whenever Poe wasn't out on assignment and the Jedi came to visit and it was easy even if the whole thing made him feel kind of nervous-excited inside, every time he saw him for more than a year, and then two. Sometimes they worked on Poe's ship together and their hands would brush as they passed tools back and forth between them. Sometimes they'd have to stand real close in the overcrowded elevator, trying to act like it was fine when Poe's cheek was bumping awkwardly against Ben's shoulder or he found himself backed up against him, Ben's back to the wall and Poe's back to Ben's chest and he could feel him there. Nothing really happened but once, when the elevator emptied out and they were left in there alone, Poe turned and looked up, still standing close. He rested his hands at Ben's hips, over his robes. Ben looked down at him. Poe looked up. 

"So, when are you leaving?" Poe asked, not quite casual though he was maybe trying for that. 

Ben swallowed. Poe watched his throat work. His own felt tight. 

"In the morning," Ben replied. 

"Early?"

He nodded. "Early." 

"Can you meet me for breakfast?"

Ben looked at him. Ben glanced down to one side, at where one of Poe's hands was resting at his hip, as the elevator moved up and up toward the hangar. He raised his own hands, slowly, cautiously, taking and releasing a long, deep breath. He shifted his weight and wound up shuffling closer and Poe almost held his damn breath like some kind of teenager as Ben wrapped his arms around him. The look on his face said he thought Poe was going to bolt, at least as much as he could do that inside of an elevator, but he didn't. He grinned instead. He _beamed_. He slid his arms around Ben's waist and Ben smiled, he really _smiled_ , all crinkled eyes and dimpled cheeks. And okay, so maybe he knew what Jedi were supposed to be, maybe he knew what the rules were that they followed, but right then it didn't really seem to matter. 

Later, when he thought about it in his room, he was pretty sure he'd meant to say something else, or to suggest something else, something he knew even then was a really bad idea, but the elevator came to a stop before he'd even managed to start to speak. They'd stepped apart and gone out into the hangar. The moment had passed. Now, there they were, stranded together. Years had passed just like that moment had. 

They worked on the beacon the next day and the day after that, chewing on dry ration bars washed down with water from the melted snow. Beebee switched into low power mode just in case it was weeks instead of days, though Poe guessed it'd already been weeks when he made himself take a look at the salvaged chrono. He was pretty sure they almost had it a few times, Poe soldering while Ben - _Kylo Ren_ \- held all the parts together with the Force, but the signal fizzled and the unit died again. And then, irritated, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tight, Poe found the connection and Ren held it tight and that time they got it right. The unit came online, its light blinking blue. Poe sat back in cautious, victorious relief. Ren looked pleased and for a second, Poe felt like maybe they'd accomplished something, before it came back to him exactly who he was with. He sighed. Now all they had to do was wait and hope they didn't run out of food before someone found them, if anyone did. 

Of course, they had no idea who might find them. They had no idea who'd even won the battle, or if the war was over, if _anyone_ had survived who'd been there except for the two of them. Maybe the plan had worked and the Rebels had won. Maybe they'd failed and the First Order was still on its feet, just currently under Armitage Hux instead of Kylo Ren. Poe honestly didn't know which of the two of them was worse, but he guessed at least he could take Ren seriously. 

"Do you remember the time you came to the temple?" Ben asked, that night. _Kylo_ asked. The blue light of the beacon lit his face up just like his old lightsaber had and Poe just looked at him, brows raised, because _of course_ he remembered. 

He remembered heading there on the way back from some kind of a humanitarian mission, to drop off supplies for the temple and a message from the general, and once he'd done that, he'd asked for Ben. He remembered the smile on Ben's face when he'd greeted him and how they'd walked together for a while out in the grounds in the warm afternoon sun, Ben's cloak trailing in the long grass and the ankles of Poe's flight suit getting damp but neither of them had really cared. They'd had a meal together inside the temple with the others, though they kind of sat apart there like they always had back on base when the Jedi visited. And when it got past sunset, Ben asked if he really needed to leave right away.

"You could stay the night," he said, as they sat together on the temple steps not far from Poe's shuttle. "Get some sleep, start fresh in the morning." And he glanced at Poe sideways like was checking his reaction, but Poe wasn't sure what his reaction even was. It was a bad idea and he knew it but he couldn't help thinking they were friends, they were on the same side, and he was tired, who wanted him to crash into a meteor on his way home? Maybe it was fine. Ben wouldn't've been asking if it hadn't been fine. 

"Is that something people can do?" Poe asked. He leaned forward, his elbows to his knees, and looked back over his shoulder up at Ben. The position made Ben look even bigger than he already was and Poe liked that, his height, the way he'd gotten broader through the shoulders since they'd met, the span of his big hands. He told himself he just kinda liked the contrast, something about how Ben was almost as different from him as Admiral Ackbar. The thing was, he really wasn't thinking about Admiral Ackbar the way he thought about Ben Solo.

"No, not really," Ben admitted, almost sheepishly. "But no one'll care. There's plenty of space."

So he agreed. Ben took him to his room in the grounds, near the trees, by the lake, and Poe ducked inside and frowned at it - it was just as sparse a place as he'd expected for the Jedi, but he guessed he hadn't been imagining one bed between the two of them. But then once the door was closed, Ben pulled off his cloak and his boots and his tunic and stripped to the waist before he got into bed like it was the most natural thing in the world, so Poe followed suit. He stripped down to the fire-retardant leggings he wore under his flight suit, while Ben acted like he wasn't watching. He rubbed the back of his neck and shot Ben a kind of lopsided smile before he joined him, and Ben turned out the light. 

The back of his hand brushed Ben's bare side, totally by accident. Ben's bare ankle brushed against his, totally by accident. Poe turned onto his belly, one arm thrown over the pillow that smelled just like Ben did. He glanced at him in the faint light. The look on Ben's face said he was as surprised he'd agreed to this as Poe was and for a second he thought maybe there was something Ben wanted to say, or something he wanted to do, some reason he'd even offered this, but then he just rolled his head back to center and closed his eyes. Poe yawned despite himself, and they went to sleep, and that was that.

But in the morning, that wasn't that. Ben shifted over him to get out of bed and for a moment they were face to face, closer than they should've been; Poe knew he would've wrapped his legs around Ben's waist in an instant if that'd been Ben's choice, but it wasn't. And after breakfast, Ben walked him to the shuttle. He caught Poe's wrists up suddenly in his big hands and he pinned them to the shuttle's beat-up hull, holding them there either side of Poe's shoulders. Poe's pulse raced as Ben looked at him, as Ben inched closer, because he'd wanted this for so damn long he couldn't even remember. But the other Jedi saw them from the temple steps. Before anything could really happen, Poe stepped aside and stepped inside and left him there, because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't want to be responsible for what might happen next. He knew how Ben felt about being a Jedi and he couldn't be the reason that ended. 

It'd been a while after that when Ben had left the temple. Poe hadn't found out right away but when he'd heard Ben had left the Jedi, he thought maybe he hoped for something he absolutely hadn't dared hope for before. He'd felt that way till he _really_ heard what happened. And now there he was, Kylo Ren.

"Yeah, I remember," Poe said. 

"You know I'd've left if you'd asked me." 

Poe sighed. "Yeah, I know," he replied. "That's why I knew I couldn't ask you. Maybe if I'd known you'd say no." 

"That makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense." Poe groaned into his hands then he took a breath and leaned back. "Look, I don't know what you think you're doing but you need to stop." 

"I'm not doing anything." 

"So I'm meant to just forget you tortured me?"

Ben frowned. "You mean literally?" he asked.

"I mean you got me strapped to a bench and screwed around with my head." 

"That's not true."

"Yeah, I wish you were right."

Poe ran both his hands through his hair. He tugged at it, hard. He'd wanted so bad to ask Ben to go with him, leave the Jedi and that rule that was really getting in the way of what he was pretty sure they both wanted. He'd thought about it sometimes, in his bunk at night, how Ben was such a great pilot and maybe they could've flown together sometimes and people would've understood, like his team for sure, and maybe even Ben's mom and dad. They could've shared Poe's quarters - it wasn't like Ben had a lot of stuff to move in with him - but he'd always known he couldn't ask because Ben would've said yes. And maybe for a while it would've been good and it would've been worth it but in the end, he'd've realized he'd given up his lifelong dream for a guy with a kinda nice smile who was quick at the stick who'd probably just not come back one day. That was just how life was as an X-Wing pilot; sometimes you counted your life in months, not years.

"And I wish you were you and not... _you_ , too," Poe said.

He looked at Ben between his fingers, then he dropped his hands away completely. Ben had this sad smile on his face, a really good one like he maybe wasn't acting after all, but Poe knew that was too good to be true. 

"So pretend you believe me," Ben said. _Ren_ said. 

Poe was too worn out to argue. He wished he'd had some kind of fight left in him but he hadn't so he turned back his makeshift parachute blanket and he crawled over there on his hands and knees because frankly, standing up just seemed like overkill. He leaned back against the metal sheet there next to Ren, against part of the cut-up TIE's hull. He rested his head back and he closed his eyes and Ren's hand in its black leather glove moved over Poe's and squeezed cautiously. He really wanted to believe that. He _really_ did. So he figured if this was the end of the road, if they were going to die here or even if they weren't, so what, screw it. He could pretend as well as Ren could. 

He caught Ren's wrist in his hand and he pulled off Ren's glove, pulled off his own and pressed their palms together. Ren's hand was so much bigger than his and he remembered once, on base, when Ben had let him try out his lightsaber, swinging the blue blade around carefully with a grin like a kid, even though the grip was way too big for him. He remembered the smile on Ben's face and how he'd wanted him to keep smiling, how he'd wanted to drag him back to his bunk and make a whole lot of other comparisons. He'd never quite managed it, but he'd thought about it.

He brought his hand up to Ren's neck to rub the scar on his face with the pad of his thumb, and Ren looked at him like wow, that was the only thing he wanted in the galaxy, and not like he wanted the galaxy itself. Ren watched him as Poe moved and settled himself over Ren's clothed thighs, careful of his bandaged calf. He watched him as Poe pulled off his own other glove and ran both hands down Ren's clothed chest. He wanted to touch, he wanted to find that blaster scar on Ren's ribs that he'd put there and press his mouth to it, wanted to strip him bare and run his hands over his skin, but it was too damn cold for that. He settled for untying Ren's belt. He settled for shifting around till he could push Ren down flat to the ground, his hair all spread out awkwardly around his head. He settled for yanking at the waist of Ren's pants till he lifted his hips and let him pull them down to his knees, catching on his boots. And okay, so maybe he wasn't great at pretending after all because all he could think was really, fuck Kylo Ren. And, well, _fuck_ Kylo Ren. This wasn't how he'd've been with Ben Solo, and he knew it. He'd've taken his time. 

He sucked him first. It was rough and fast, his mouth around the head and his tongue circling as he jacked him with one hand. Ren groaned as his cock stiffened and that sounded like Ben but Poe couldn't think about that, all he could do was pull back, reach for some kind of salve from the med kit and slick him with it quickly, thickly, base to tip. He rubbed the excess off on Ren's shirt because whatever, and then he moved, almost scowling, almost angry, not even sure if he was angry with Ren for not being Ben or maybe just at himself for giving in. He pushed his own pants down over his hips and as low as they'd go and he straddled him, what the hell, took Ren's cock in his hand and held it still as he sat back, as he rubbed the tip between his cheeks, as he tucked it up blunt against the rim of his hole. As he settled down, guiding him the whole way in with his fingers, as he grimaced but kept going, clenching his jaw as Ren's cock stretched him, filled him, Ren just stared like he couldn't believe it. Frankly, neither could Poe.

He rode him. He spread his hands over Ren's chest and he rolled his hips and he made him shift inside him, pushing up deep. And Ren's hands came up to Poe's hips and squeezed, bare skin on skin, and Poe hated it, he _hated_ it, except it was exactly what he'd wanted for years by then but had never had. Ren braced his heels against the ground and he bucked up against him and Poe let his head drop back as he gasped in a breath, arching his back as they moved. Then Ren paused, wrapped one arm around Poe's waist and shifted, quickly, maybe assisted by the Force for all that meant to Poe; he tipped Poe onto his back and pushed up his knees and then he pushed back in, face to face, leaning over him. Poe couldn't say he didn't want it. Even the strain in his muscles felt good. He was still attracted to Kylo Ren, after all, even if he hated to admit it.

Except then he looked up at Ren. He looked into his face and Ren was watching him, Ren's face was flushed right down into his neck under his collar and his teeth were gritted and he was fucking him slowly, long rolls of his hips, grinding deep, and Ren was _watching_ him. Poe gripped Ren's arms and rocked up to meet him, slowly, and suddenly it wasn't what Poe had thought it would be at all, it was something different. Ren had him slow and hot and breathless, pushing into him, stretching him around his length, holding him down with his weight, and all Poe could do was reach up and grip his biceps harder for a little extra leverage to push against him. _This_ was what he'd wanted with Ben, gasping, moaning, his own cock dragging against Ben's stomach. _Ren_ 's stomach, he guessed, except somehow that didn't seem to matter so much. 

Poe didn't need to stroke himself. The tip of his cock pushed against Ren's stomach and Ren's cock stretched his hole and pushed up deep and eventually, in the end, when he was breathless and his skin was hot and his pulse skipped, when every muscle in his body was wound up tight, that was it - he jerked, he gripped hard at Ren's arms and bucked and growled and came all over Ren's stomach, dripping back down onto himself but he couldn't've cared less. Ren steadied himself and then he went on, slow and deep, till he screwed his eyes shut and shoved in hard and came, inside him, in jerking waves. Then he pulled back, pulled out, and went down on his back. All Poe could do was lie there, nearly panting, halfway to aghast, still reeling.

Ren turned his head. And maybe, it turned out, Poe could do more than lie there after all. Before he knew what he was doing, he pressed his mouth to Ren's. Before he could stop himself, he kissed him, one hand in his hair, and Ren kissed him back like he actually meant it, like any of this was real at all. He could almost have believed him but in the end, he stopped keeping score either way; he just rearranged his own clothes while Ren rearranged his, and then they went to sleep under the same foil blanket, with a parachute for a pillow. He felt like he'd just been with Ben. For a few hours, as he slept, he didn't question it.

When they woke in the morning, Ren was still pretending; he'd crashed as Kylo Ren and now there he was, Ben Solo. At least he said he was. At least he says he is. 

There's a ship coming in and Poe can't tell if it's Resistance or First Order. 

If he had to guess, he'd say Ren's lying. If he had to bet lives on it, he might take the shot himself and live with it. But that doesn't mean he doesn't hope he's telling the truth. 

There's a ship coming in. Either way, he guesses he's about to find out.


End file.
